Times Like These
by shatteredtomillionsofpieces
Summary: A Harry Styles story. Note; the boys will not feature until later on in the story. "Times like these force me to think of how my life has become what it is. I often wonder what would of changed if I did something different. How my life would be better."
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Times like these force me to think of how my life has become what it is. I often wonder what would of changed if I did something different. How my life would be better.

If I had done something differently would I be sat in my car right now in the dead of night? Would the rain be hammering against the window creating a noise that only my broken sobs can be heard over? Would I be contemplating on driving this car straight off a cliff? Somehow as much as I'd like to believe this is true I know it isn't. My life is destined to be this way.

It's hard to think when it all started to crumble, it was some time ago. I had always had an unfortunate life filled with powerless struggles but I built myself; I'm stronger and I'm thankful for that. That girl I once was at the fragile and naïve age of 13.

She'd gone.

Until 5 years ago….


	2. Chapter 1

**One**

_5 years ago…_

I slumped into the hard plastic chair next to Eva, pulling my navy sweater off, the warm air emitting from the windows clinging to the skin of my arms. It was a sunny spring Monday morning. The 19th of April to be exact. Another school day which couldn't end fast enough.

The sound of talking and laughter flowed through my ear canals, silencing my brain for a second. To my right I felt eyes watching me, I turned to Eva. Her face glowing, the grin etched upon it directed towards me and I knew what she was about to do next.

"Happy birthday Jen" She squealed, harshly pulling me in for a hug. Her crystal blue eyes wide with excitement.

"Thanks" I forced, wrapping my arms around her. Eva loved birthdays where as I did not, I didn't see the point in them. They just marked another year that had passed. My birthday definitely wasn't anything special anyway. I was frustrated with Eva in a way for making such a big deal out of it. I know that it wasn't her intention to make me feel this way but I didn't want any fuss. Being the centre of attention was something I despised. However I didn't let on that I was annoyed.

She let go off me, the grin not departing from her face.

"Can you believe it in just one year's time you'll be 16" She said, still grinning.

"I know" I smiled back. Eva would be like this all day and I had become accustomed to dealing with it. She really did mean well but the temptation inside myself was killing me. I just wanted to tell her to shut-up.

The door creaked open and the room fell silent as everyone's attention advanced to our Form Tutor. She stalked into the classroom her dull brunette mane, wild and switched on her old computer without even looking at the class. She really didn't like us. She sat down and flung her bag onto the desk before rooting around inside of it. The glasses perched on the end of her nose slid off and clumsily clattered onto the desk. A few students giggled earning a glare.

"I have your work experience placements so I'll hand them out in a bit" Mrs Devon informed us, her shrill voice bored and fake. She placed a pile of letters beside her and turned back to the whirring computer.

I inwardly groaned. I wasn't looking forward to work experience. I knew that my chances of getting my placement were thin. I had applied for ELLE Magazine in Manchester after being encouraged to do so by Eva. My day was going to get worse I could see it.

I closed my eyes for a second and wished that ELLE magazine was written on that piece of paper. At this moment in time there was nothing I wanted more. I knew that I wouldn't have got it. I knew from the moment I handed in my application form. I was way out of my league.

I abruptly opened my eyes at the sound of paper sliding across the desk. In front of me a brown envelope addressed to me sat staring at me. I gawked at it, not sure whether to open it or not. I didn't want to. I didn't want to know. Thinking about it, I wanted to throw it away and never have to see it again.

"Open it then" Eva urged, excitement filling her voice again. Apprehensively collecting the envelope, I slowly turned it around in my palms. I prepared myself for the wave of disappointment that was about to hit me as I ripped it open.

Unexpectedly a rush of excitement surged through my body as I read the letter. Eva was silent beside me waiting for my response. The smile licked upon my face, genuine this time. I shoved the letter to Eva for her to read and she squealed pulling me into another hug. Her blonde styled waves brushing against my cheek; her lightly scented perfume filling my nostrils.

_I had been accepted_.

**Harry Styles POV**

I thrusted the letter into my bag, huffing as I left the classroom. The corridor was flooded with our year. I scanned the crowd looking for Matt. Leant by the lockers Matt was reading over a piece of paper, I guessed it was his placement letter. Pulling the strap of my black bag back over my shoulder, I elbowed my way through the crowd towards him. He looked pleased. That would make one of us then.

"Alright mate" He greeted looking up from the piece of paper and putting into his pocket.

"Could be fucking better" I groaned as we turned to leave the building. The corridor was loud and my mood wasn't accepting the change from classroom murmur to squawking and high pitched laughter from people around me.

I sighed under my breath as more people barged past us trying to also leave the building. Grumbling a few curses, we finally got outside, instantly regretting putting my jumper back on as my skin soaked up the warm rays. I rolled the sleeves up around my elbows and turned back to Matt who had asked me question.

"Huh?" I squinted at Matt, the sun in my eyes, clouding my vision. We walked across the playground smaller children darting out of our way. A few other students walking in front of us talking of their antics over the weekend.

"What did you get? You know for your work placement"

"Oh right Holtwood House" I replied, unimpressed. I hadn't even applied for it and I had been placed there. Annoyed was an understatement especially when everyone around me got exactly what they wanted. Work experience seemed like a something fun and rewarding to do and now it feels like a burden. Really wasn't looking forward to going.

"The kids care home right?"

"Yeah" I sighed. I had nothing against children at all but it just wasn't something that I wanted to spend two weeks doing. "What did you get?"

"The garage that I applied for, just down my road" He smiled, happy over his placement. I envied him; I applied for an engineering placement. It baffled me how they got from engineering to children. "And I get a lie in, bonus!" He added.

We entered into our first lesson and scurried to the back of the classrooms flinging ourselves into our usual seats. The teacher hadn't arrived yet usually this made me rejoice but the chatter today was subjected to work experience the one thing that I just wanted to forget about. Matt was engrossed in a conversation with a blonde blue eyed girl that was sat on his left, they were discussing their placements. She was going to a hairdressers and Matt was heavily over talking his engineering placement. I switched away from the conversation, getting profoundly annoyed by the second.

I was just going to have to grin and bear it.

_**Hi hoped you liked the first chapter. Let me know your thoughts :) Also in the prologue I mentioned about not being the naïve fragile 14 year old anymore well I've recently changed it to 13. Just thought I'd tell you to avoid confusion. Please please review, it would really mean a lot. Much love xoxo**_


	3. Authors Note

_**Hey I'm gracing you guys with another annoying authors note but I just want to let you know that I will be updating Times Like These and Only The Good Die Young over the weekend. I was planning on updating OTGDY in a few more weeks but some very sweet anon who goes by the name of 'h' left a lovely review and its motivated me and really made me want to write more asap so 'h' is you're reading this thank-you, you made me smile like a loon, it really meant a lot to me what you said! -And please come off anon so I know who you are.- **_

_**And for everyone else who has been reviewing and being very patient with my annoying self I am ever so grateful, you are all beautiful people. So this is kind of a thank-you notice. Thank-you for all the support, thank-you for all the kind words and thank-you for reading.**_

_**I hope I can say thanks enough with a really awesome chapter of OTGDY. So thank-you again everyone.**_

_**Much love xoxo**_

_**P.S- Which story do you want me to update first? **_


	4. Chapter 2

Note; All outfits for Jen will be displayed on my profile. I will not do a new outfit for every chapter it just depends.

**Two**

_1 week later…_

I shifted my body weight forwards causing the large glass door to open and I slipped into the tall intimidating office building. My footsteps making soft thumps on the marble floor, I made my way to the reception desk in front of me, the nerves in my stomach enlarging by the second. The woman at reception smiled politely up at me upon my arrival. Her brown eyes questioning why I was stood there, I caught her give me the once over before meeting my eyes again, her smile frozen.

"Hi, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Er yes, I'm here for my work experience placement at Elle magazine" She tapped onto her computer whilst I had a glimpse around the spacious reception area. It was dead, no one in sight. The sound of the tapping keyboard was the only noise that penetrated the silence. It was the kind of reception areas you would see on the T.V and only dreamed of walking through everyday. A plush turquoise sofa and arm chairs were placed behind me, surrounding a glass coffee table stacked with magazines that also worked in the building, although my eyes lingered far too long on the glossy Elle magazine. Plants the sizes of a person were dotted around, the green rich and illuminating underneath the lights. I noticed the reception desk to be long however only one employee was manning it. The whole place was grand and I wasn't expecting anything less at the ELLE office.

"Jennifer Owens is it?" Automatically stopping the scan of the area, I looked back to her before nodding.

"Just take a seat over there and someone will be down in a minute" Her eyes darted to the seating area signally for me to go there.

"Thank-you" I said, my tone low as the nerves hit me full pelt. I spun around.

"You'll be fine by the way, everyone is really friendly, and I'm sure you'll fit in well here" She reassured me as I turned back to look at her. She must of sensed my nerves, my breaths were shallow and my heart was thumping in my chest. It came to no shock that she knew I was nervous.

I perched on the edge of the sofa, my hands clasped together, feeling uncomfortable. As her words sunk in my nerves eased slightly and relaxed into the sofa more. My eyes once again landed upon the Elle magazine and I deliberated having a quick flick through. I reached to pick it up when I instantly pulled my hand back again when I felt my phone vibrate in my blazer pocket.

**From: Max**

**Gud luk 2day. X**

I smiled, Max was a sweet kid. Only being the age of 13, he was one of the only people who couldn't judge me. Maybe this was because he was too young to understand, I dread the day he understands and becomes like everyone else; patronizing and judgemental.

**Than**

"Jennifer Owens?" I shot my head up at the sound of my name, dropping my phone mid-text back into my pocket. Another woman looked expectantly down at me. Intimidation was the word to describe my feelings at that moment so instead I stood up; we were now near enough the same height give or take a good few inches.

"Yes" I confirmed, plastering my face was a smile that I hoped was conceived as polite and genuine.

"Follow me this way" She smiled turning towards the lift, her heels clacking along the floor as she walked. I winced slightly at the noise, it was a startling contrast to the silence I had been used to for the past 10 minutes.

She selected the seventh floor and the elevator growled before it moved upwards. Pulling my blazer down, I ran my fingers through my dark hair, I wanted to look well groomed and somehow pulling the blazer down made me feel at ease. I was more concealed. My hair was like a safety blanket, my reassurance.

The woman next to me was wearing a pencil skirt with a short sleeved pink blouse tucked into it. Her heels looked painful. I noticed they were Louboutins due to the signature red sole. Immaculately polished fingers held paper work and a folder clutched to her chest. Styled blonde waves hung down her back showing off the bow attached to the front of the blouse, the make-up sat on her face looked professional. I was envious of this woman, I couldn't help but glance at what I was wearing and wishing I could change. A slick line of nausea rose in my stomach, I expected everyone would be dressed the same way as her; I would stick out like a sore thumb.

"I'm Melissa by the way; Louise Parson's assistant" She informed me as we stood in the moving lift side by side. I nodded and smiled, her blue eyes bored into me for a few seconds before she gave me the same reassurance as the woman downstairs however this time it didn't subside my raging nerves.

Saying the office was busy was a complete understatement. Everyone was flying about barking orders to one another. Phones were ringing and computer key boards were being tapped at. However the atmosphere of the office had a certain comforting aspect about it. It felt right; I instantly knew this is where I wanted to be.

Melissa led me past them all, without giving it a second glance she seemed accustomed to this behaviour, towards the back of the large office space. I kept close behind afraid of getting lost in the commotion although I had no idea where I was headed. We stopped outside a door. Her fist knocked against the wood a few times before someone behind the door called for us to enter.

Melissa opened the door and ushered me inside to another large office. But my eyes weren't taking in the exquisite décor, I was fixated upon the woman sat at the desk just a mere metre away from me. My breath hitched into my throat as she rose from her desk and moved closer to me.

"Hi I'm Louis Parson. Editor in chief of Elle and you must be Jennifer Owens" She smiled at me her lean body leaning against the front of her desk. She outstretched her hand for a hand shake. I froze for a second, dumb founded. _She knew my name? Louis Parson editor in chief at Elle magazine knew my name?_ No doubt my expression was gormless and embarrassing. I shot from my moment of being star struck and connected my hand with hers. Her handshake was strong compared to my clammy limp hand which refused to cooperate with my brain.

I took another moment to gaze at her. Her cropped short hair was styled as straight as a knife, the colour a mixture of brown shades. It had the resemblance of Frankie Sanford's haircut. Her cheekbones were to die for along with her long slender limbs that were covered in a pair of skinny tailored trousers. Long eyelashes framed the two pools of blue and her glossed lips were pulled into a warming smile. A pang of jealousy hit me; she was a beautiful woman and was living this dream life style.

"Nice to meet you" She said letting go of my hand completely ignoring the sweat that was now encased on her hand from the skin of mine.

"I am very excited to have you on our team for two weeks" she continued, her smile never faltering. The confines of the office relaxed me as I listened intently.

This woman was the key to the open the door of numerous opportunities. To anyone else in my year today was just work experience. Maybe they could even get up later than usual or won't have to do hardly any work at all. But for me this was so much more than that. It was what I wanted to be doing. I want to be in the fashion industry maybe not a magazine but this is the first step to my dream. If I do well on this work experience she could offer me a job or give me a good reference. If I got any of those things it would be highly respected in this industry. This was a big deal and I wasn't going to devour this once in a life time opportunity. The amount of times these thoughts have ran through my mind in the past week have been so frequent I should have had a headache but today, being right here it's sinking in more now that its actually happening and I'm feeling more determined to reach my goal.

Instantly my confidence over powered and my nerves were abruptly pushed aside. My nervous exterior shattered. I felt my body straightening up, my thumping heart decrease to a minimum and the turning in my stomach settle.

"I am very excited to be here" I replied trying to ooze enough confidence. She smiled at my remark before picking up a sheet of paper from her desk. Her eyes quickly darted across the page before she met my own.

"There were a lot of girls who applied for this position but for some reason your application stood out the most, you seem like you actually want this where as the other girls are just looking for free clothes" She spoke again, her eyes reading mine for any ounce of inkling that she'd made a mistake.

"This is why, I don't want you to be running around and fetching coffees all day long, I actually want you to be involved like you're really part of the team." My eyes glimmered with excitement as images flashed in my mind of different possibilities. On set of a photo shoot directing, meeting celebrities, helping the stylists in the clothing department, sat looking through the mock up of next months magazine making sure everything was perfect. I knew I was hoping big but I just couldn't help it.

"This is a massive opportunity, you really need to step to the mark and I'm hoping you prove to me that I made the right decision."

"Yes miss" My nerves had started to creep back again. I had a lot of pressure weighing me down. Letting Louise down just wasn't an option.

"Please call me Louise." She ordered. "I see something special in you Jennifer, I have high hopes for you" And with that she stood up and went to sit at her desk, smoothing down her outfit that had become slightly creased in the time she was leant against the desk, not even thinking twice about the huge compliment she just paid me. Although I felt pressured, the adrenaline was rushing through my body, sparking all my senses to high alert. I knew I could do this, well I hoped I could.

"Firstly I need you to grab me a grande skinny latte without the foam from starbucks down the road. And then Melissa will meet you back here ready to take you to the wardrobe to work with the stylists" She spoke not looking up at me, reading over sheets of paper work on her desk. I waited a second for anything else she needed to add but when she didn't I nodded and turned on my heel to leave. Melissa wasn't in the room anymore but I didn't think of questioning her where abouts. I didn't want to disturb Louise whilst she was working. I pushed the door open about to step through ready to show that I had what it takes.

"Oh and Jennifer" I spun around.

"Yes Miss Parson" I smiled, slightly shocked and curious to what she had more to say. She probably wanted something to eat as well.

Her eyes were boring into me, glancing me up and down. A chill of intimidation washed over me, anxious to know what she was thinking. I had to dress to impress. She seemed satisfied when she met my eyes again; relief swam through my body as she beamed at me.

"Welcome to Elle magazine"

**_Hope you enjoyed it. Please review, it would be fantastic if you did. Thank-you. Much love xoxo_**


	5. Chapter 3

**Three**

Finally I had made it home. Discarding of my satchel bag, I slumped into the nearest chair; exhausted from my first day. Although it had been astonishing, it was everything I expected it to be but more. A tiresome day meant I was going to retire to bed as soon as possible. Gathering my bag, I slowly made my way up the winding staircase.

Light all of a sudden filled the dimly lit hall way as a door opened. Along with the light, laughter carelessly flooded the hall way. This caused me to stop mid way and look over the top of the oak banister.

A dark toned boy backed out from the door, laughter emitting from him. Of course I knew this boy, it was Max. My plans of a deep slumber were quickly forgotten as I scurried down the stairs to see him.

"Max!" I squeaked as I embraced him, squeezing his tiny body, happy to see him. He hugged me back before coughing dramatically, my cue to release him. Max was like my little brother, we can fight like crazy but we'll protect each other till the end.

"Sorry I can't stay and chat but the ladies are waiting" He winked, oozing confidence. I was unfamiliar to this side of him. I giggled under my breath.

"And who might these ladies be mr?" Raising my eyebrow. His dark eyes still had some sort of childlike innocence which made his newly found confidence unbelievable. "I thought I was your number one lady" I smiled, playing along, I wasn't about to spoil his fun.

"Well what can I say the ladies love me" He shrugged.

"Someone's being a bit cocky today. Who's been teaching you the tricks of the trade? Let me guess was it Dan? Or Jordan? Yeah that's it, it's gotta be Jordan. Well don't be listening to him because the ladies don't-"

"Actually it was me" An unfamiliar voice interrupted. I looked up to match the voice to a face that had been eaves dropping into our conversation.

My brown eyes connected with a pair of blue-green eyes, chocolate hair that I was sure were evolving into bouncy curls and a smirk. My breath hitched into my throat as I took the face that I knew in. Shock suppressed my features making it next to impossible to speak. It was a face I knew but I doubt my face had the same affect on him. He stared at me, leaning against the door frame as if he owned the place, waiting for me to say something.

I wished I had carried on up the stairs and had ignored the enticing laughter. I didn't understand why he was here? Why would he come to a place like this willingly? I wanted to run and hope that he wouldn't remember my face although I knew that was also impossible. When we got back to school he would recognise me.

"Aw Jen, did you have a good day?" Samantha appeared from behind him. I nodded unsure of what to say, I wasn't up for engaging in conversation, I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.

She didn't seem to pick up on my off mood as she glided past him to stand between us.

"I see you've met Harry; you know each other from school right?" She smiled seeming pleased of the idea not realising how this could turn bad, really bad.

Of course I knew Harry from school. Everyone knew Harry; it was Harry Styles the most popular boy at our school. However when I say I know him it's not on a personal level more of from a distance. People like him wouldn't be seen dead stood next to me. I was surprised he was able to stomach this situation for as long as he has already. I opened my mouth to reply coldly but Harry beat me to it.

"I guess so, we're in a few of the same classes" He replied, looking me up and down. I glared at him causing him to abruptly stop.

"Splendid!" Samantha beamed, clasping her hands together. "Since you're going to be spending your evenings here for the next two weeks on work experience then Jen could give you a tour of the place" My stomach diminished. I was going to have to see him for the next two weeks. My high from earlier had been dropped and trodden on repeatedly. Realisation sat into him as his features twisted, I could almost hear the cogs turn in his brain. He now knows the truth. The truth that only Eva knows. The truth that I hoped him of all people would never find out. My social status metaphorically descended. He probably thought I was some sort of freak, living in a care home with no family. No doubt it would soon be the topic of all gossip; he just wouldn't be able to keep this to himself.

I decided now wasn't the time to dwell on this but to use this opportunity as an escape route. Both eyes were now scalding my skin waiting for my answer. Keeping my eyes low I braced myself for a quick get away.

"Actually I'm pretty tired so I'm gonna head off to bed" And with that I turned on my heel and made a swift exit up the stairs, leaving them both at the bottom of the stairs, confused at my behaviour. All the while I mentally prepared myself for the jeers and the teasing that were about to head my way.

_**Hey, hoped you like? Anyway I'm still stuck on a title for this story so I was wondering if you guys like the name Times Like These or not? Please review, thank-you for the patience. Much love xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 4

Four

Three days have been and gone, all revolving around avoiding Harry; when I would go to sleep, which train I'd catch home, what pace I should walk at. None of what is swimming around in my head has interrupted my amazing opportunity, but the sleepless nights lying awake, thinking was starting to take its toll. I don't even know what I'm thinking about; it's all a jumbled mess. Like a charity shop. It'd take me hours just to sort through it for it then to be another puzzle the next morning.

My worry over my class mates finding out about my current accommodation was what most of my thoughts circulated around although nothing has been said, as of yet. Unsure whether this is a good or bad thing, the naïve little old me is rooting for something good, hopefully my prayers will be answered this time.

x-x-x

_You said move on, where do I go?__  
><em>_I guess second best is all I will know___

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you__  
><em>_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)__  
><em>_Thinking of you, what you would do__  
><em>_If you were the one who was spending the night__  
><em>_(Spending the night, spending the night)__  
><em>_Oh, I wish that I was__-_

"Jennifer"

Upon hearing my name, I removed the head phone from my ear and glanced behind me cautiously. I was nearly home, I was earlier than usual and seeing Harry running towards me, confirmed my earlier thoughts; I should have caught a later train. My light footing averted to a brisk pace, plugging the head phone where it should belong, pretending to not have known of his approaching presence.

I knew from the grab of my shoulder that I wasn't fast enough; I flinched from his touch, the contact like a flash back, turning myself into protective mode instinctively. I decided to stop though, as he made all this effort to catch up to me so it must be important.

Of course I would be the judge of that.

"Jennifer" He wheezed, gasping for air as he clutched his knees, his body bent over at the side of me. I raised my eyebrows in response.

"I've been trying to catch up with you for the past ten minutes"

"Yeah and…" I replied, unimpressed. My facial expression was bitter; I had no reason to be nice to the person that was going to make a laughing stock of me.

"I want to talk to you". I was unable to come to the conclusion on whether he didn't sense my tone or was ignoring it instead.

"Well the floor's all yours" Sarcasm unappreciatively dripping from the words that strung from my mouth. He rolled his eyes at my response but otherwise ignored it all the same.

"I want to know why you won't talk to me, look at me or even stand next to me?" He asked, getting straight to the point, standing up straight finally having caught his breath.

"Because I don't like you" I replied bluntly. His eyebrows furrowed in response.

"But you don't even know me?" He accused.

"Oh I know enough" My reply was acidic, causing his eyes to smoulder with anger as they sliced through the air.

A part of me regretted what I'd said but guilt was not my forte, I'd decided a long time ago that any vulnerability on my part would be locked away with a double bolt, the combination to unlock these ugly feelings thrown away and forgotten, so I was baffled on how these feelings are beginning to surface after so long.

Not in any desirable need to be exposed to him, I forced my feet to move and leave him behind. Just like the other night.

However he had to have the last word.

"What from rumours at school? That's so pathetic. I guess if you can make a judgement then so can I. You're a sour stuck up bitch. No wonder you ended up in a care home, not even your parents wanted you" He shouted after me, anger fleetingly splashing through the venomous words, slapping me hard, leaving a stinging sensation and tears threatening to fall.

Carrying on walking I told myself I didn't care what he thought, I told myself that what he said didn't hurt, I told myself that he was wrong.

But why should I lie to myself anymore?


	7. Chapter 5

Five

Harry POV

I hated her with an underlining passion. Just the thought of her angered me. Her shrill voice as she spoke to me was like nails dragging along a chalk board, it made me sick.

She was ugly and fat, anything else she threw onto her body would be an improvement, her hair was in dire need of a haircut and she needed a serious attitude makeover.

Except she wasn't ugly far from it actually, nor fat and her slim tight curves looked good in anything. Exquisitely framing her face, her mid light to dark brown mix of waves draped down her back. Her attitude was unendurable but who was I to judge as she had to me? Two wrongs don't make a right. It was easy to tell that she hadn't had the best upbringing, where as I was so much more fortunate than her, of course that would make you bitter somewhere along the line.

I can only imagine what her life is like.

Jennifer POV

"Jennifer! Tea's ready"

I bounded down the stairs, bouncing into the cushion of the closest chair, instantly shovelling masses of food in my mouth, the growling emitting from my stomach ceasing in response. I felt a stare piercing into my face, slowing lifting my head I was met with Harry's gazing blue orbs and goofy grin.

My stomach dropped in realisation; I had no knowledge that he was having tea with us tonight and after our argument a mere few hours ago I was in no mood to make small talk. His anger from earlier seems to have diminished, leaving a warm glow however the words that were issued from those lips still flashed through my mind, each time tugging on my insides. So I did what I felt was deserving.

I glared at him.

I've never been one to forgive and forget.

It was if my eyes shot daggers, instantly he focused back on his food, cautiously glancing at me beneath his eyelashes, the glances only lasting a second before he looked away again.

The silence on my behalf was unusual and I'm sure the others picked up on it, however Harry spoke non-stop, briefly glancing at me, signally for my input. I ignored it, acting oblivious to the whole conversation.

Everyone seemed to enjoy Harry's company, more so that if I slipped away now; no-one would notice or care. Those old fears of being unwanted hadn't arose in nearly a year and a half and it angered me that once again Harry was able to unhinge my hidden vulnerable feelings without even realising, though I knew it wasn't his fault, the blame had to be put upon someone.

As I listened on further to Harry, the more his voice became enticing, until I found myself interested in what he had to say. I didn't input into the conversation but I started to realise maybe I shouldn't have judged Harry so harshly. The person I thought he was was just a stereotype and we actually had some things in common but it doesn't mean that I'd forgotten what he'd said before.

"We won a battle of the bands competition not too long ago actually" He stated, of course I already knew, I saw White Eskimo, the band he's part of, win that competition though hearing him saying it was like that was the first time I'd heard of it at all. White Eskimo who?

I couldn't deny he was charming and cheeky, that seemed to put everyone under his spell. The nasty side to him earlier though still gripped on in my mind, making me even more hesitant to get to know Harry or to let him get to know me. He seemed pretty unpredictable and that scared me.

"Jen, help Harry do the washing up will you dear?" Sam asked, lifting my plate from in front of me to join the other dishes.

"Er…but I need to-"

"Jen, it was your night last night to do the dishes and since you got out of it then you can do it tonight, no ifs, no buts" Sam ordered, staring me down, making it impossible for me to refuse.

I nodded in surrender, taking the plates from her grip and carrying them into the kitchen, placing them on the side. Harry appeared seconds later, returning from the bathroom, as I ran the warm water which splashed into the large bowl creating foam and bubbles. He seemed taken aback by the fact I was there, as if he was unprepared but he needn't be I had no intention on speaking to him.

I washed whilst he dried; the silence made the process faster however I could feel words forming on my tongue, ready to slip out.

But Harry beat me to it.

"I'm really sorry about earlier" He halted what he was doing and turned to me. I didn't look at him; I stared at the plate I was washing instead. Instinctively I felt angry, the whole scene playing in my mind again as I recalled on what was said.

I took my anger out on the plate, it was squeaky clean but I scrubbed harder and harder, my palms started ache as hot angry tears blurred my vision, threatening to flow over my cheeks. I blinked hard trying to push them back in. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want to cry at all, he'd surfaced my vulnerable feelings again, without even knowing.

"Stop" He whispered, his hand resting firmly upon my aching hand, halting the back and forth motion, the plate fell from my grasp into the bowl, the soapy water splashing against my top.

The tears seemed to have subsided as I brought my eyes to meet his for the first time, my stomach tugging violently, his hand still rested upon my wet one.

"I'm sorry" He repeated.

"It doesn't matter" I whispered, although it did matter, it mattered a lot but I'd rather lie so he dropped the subject than address it.

He released my hand.

"Well it matters to me, and what I said was uncalled for" I smiled weakly in response, in hopes it would show the forgiveness that I wanted to portray.

"Anyway I'll sleep better tonight now I know that you won't be plotting to kill me" He joked, cracking a smile. I chuckled lightly under my breath. He had obviously bought it; he thought I'd forgiven him.

I never thought I'd say this but in some way I have. I don't know why but him being him felt like more of an apology than any words ever could.

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure, Mr Styles"

His mouth opened wide in exaggerated shock before dipping his hand into the bowl, scooping his hand and flicking the handful of suds in my direction, soaking my shirt. I mirrored his expression, staring at my now transparent top, my black bra clearly visible. Although my reaction was pure shock unlike his one of mockery.

Oh this is about to get messy, very messy indeed.


	8. Chapter 6

Six

"Harry" I squealed as another handful of soapy water flew my way, smashing against my skin. His laughter was louder than my squeals; he continued to fling more water at me as I tried to defend myself and hopelessly failing.

"Okay, okay! Stop!" I ordered. My tone brought him to a stand still, he looked puzzled. Somehow he thought I was enjoying getting soaked. He was in for a big surprise.

I'm always one step ahead.

Within a matter of seconds I had the washing up bowl in my hands, lifting it above my head, his face twisting in realisation, trying to step out of the way but he was too late. The water poured down his body. His clothes now more soaked than my own, his nearly curls flat against his forehead. His palm dragged against his face gathering droplets of water as they splashed to the floor. The wide, shocked pools of blue stared at me, his mouth parted slightly.

"I'm gonna get you for this" He lunged towards me, his hands grabbing thin air as I darted from the kitchen, tripping up the stairs, making my escape. Like a flash he was already on my heels as we stormed up the winding staircase. I had no clue on where I was heading, before I had time to decide his arms wrapped themselves around my stomach from behind, forming a tight grip, squealing in response. I flailed and struggled, kicking my legs out as he pulled me in a direction I was unaware of.

I heard a door thump against the wall as it was shoved open. I soon realised his plan, attempting to free myself but his grip was like a vice. He thrusted me into the tub, holding my battling body underneath the shower head. Flicking one switch, the shower growled before spurting out cold water, I squealed louder than before as it collided with my skin.

I tried to move but Harry was stronger than I. My chances were limited. I bowed my head in hopes of shielding my face. Although the sound of water splashing against the floor of the bath was monstrous and my hearing was muffled, I could still make out the laughter falling between his lips. However I was able to unhinge the showerhead from the wall poising it in his direction.

His hands scrambled towards the handle, competing with my hold on it, aspiring to get the water away from him as it crashed against his body clad in a transparent t-shirt and jeans. I squealed and laughed as more water shot towards me.

I couldn't help but think this was the most fun I've had in years. I hadn't laughed so hard in a while. How can someone you hate so much make you so happy?

My stomach hurt from laughing, my arms ached from the constant fighting over the shower head, my skin was freezing but I didn't have an ounce of feeling to care.

Somehow the shower head ended up back attached to the wall and Harry had his arms around me once again tugging me back under the crashing water, the liquid flowing down us both. My clothes felt heavy and my makeup was running down my face but the laughter was becoming more boisterous, soon a permanent smile will have imprinted itself upon my face.

His grip wasn't as tight this time, his hands too slippery to even do so. Enabling me to spin so I was facing him. I pushed him further under the stream of water, still giggling but Harry wasn't anymore, there was silence on his part. My hands halted as I glanced up at him, confused and worried, his orbs transfixed on my face, twinkling and soft, instantly locking with my own as they met.

In the next few moments I forgot all about the water caressing my skin, the mixtures of green and blues twisting together with specks of grey was enough to capture my attention. My heart hammered against my ribcage, I could hear it pulsing in my ears, and my stomach was doing somersaults, flipping in this direction and that. His fingers lightly grazed my cheek bone, moving a wet strand of hair in the process, softly placing it behind my ear. His hand left a burning sensation as it went, the blood rushing to the surface, dancing the skin a light scarlet.

It was like one of those scenes from a movie, eyes closing, heads tilting, leaning forwards, lips parted, bodies close. The electricity was unmistakable, only a small space between us, his breath hot against my face. But I forgot this wasn't a movie, none of it was.

"Jennifer! Can you come here please? I need to talk to you urgently"

And I was brought back to harsh reality.


	9. Authors Note Tumblr Account

HELP!

Before we get started I made a Tumblr for my current stories a while back so I thought you might as well have it: onedirection-fanficx bearing in mind only TLT and OOR are on there and because OTGDY is practically dead I've taken some of the chapters and turned them into Harry one shots but changed Kate's name so you can also check those out on there.

Also I'd love if you guys would follow me because you honestly give the best feedback, I hardly get any on there, you are the ones that make me smile even though I'm the crappiest person ever and end up deleting most of my stories because I get bored and loose inspiration. There will also be quicker updates on there.

Anyway

Ok guys, I need your help. So I've been doing a lot of thinking and now that I'm in sixth form there is no way I can handle doing two fics at a time so I've decided that I'm going to work on one at a time but this is where I need your help. I have no idea which story is liked the most so I'm going to run a poll to see which story you want me to carry on with.

These are the options;

Carry on writing TLT

Carry on writing OOR

Start a new fic

Which ever one is chosen the fic(s) not chosen will be put on hold until the chosen one is finished, unless I get a sudden undying urge to write a chapter although I must warn this will be rare so choose wisely!

AND ONLY VOTE, I REPEAT ONLY VOTE VIA MY ASK BOX ON TUMBLR. ANY VOTES ON HERE WILL NOT BE COUNTED.

I will close the votes on Friday 30th March so that gives you all of 2 weeks and a bit to vote so spread the word.

So the ball is in your court guys.

HAPPY VOTING!

XOXO


	10. Chapter 7

Seven

_Present day (5 years later)…_

I rolled the car slowly onto the drive, the veins protruding from my now white knuckles due to my tight grip on the steering wheel, my face throbbing violently with pain. I turned my key in the ignition, the engine ceasing and casting me into darkness. The rain fell harder now and smashed against the floor. I daren't look at the house. From the five cars I was parked next to I knew they were all there.

The house that I once called home was a distinct memory, which every once in a while when I let myself think of those times, rips a gaping hole into my chest.

There was always an air of mystery surrounding Harry; I wanted to know whether he was happy without me, if he had a girlfriend, according to the tabloids he was single but he probably has some hidden gem somewhere that he hasn't unleashed onto the world yet. I bet he holds her tightly at night and whispers the same lines that were once only for my ears. I wanted to know whether one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was actually the best thing for him.

I had tried to reach out in the past. I missed his presence in my life, just knowing that he was a phone call away would have done me the world of good but I had no such luxury. I'd sent numerous invites to all five of them to my runway shows and other fashion affairs but neither of them showed. It wasn't a surprise really but I still felt a giant hole of disappointment each time. I wanted to share my success with them after everything they'd done for me. I would have killed to have Harry embrace me like I was a close friend and tell me how proud he was of me. But soon enough I lost all hope and I just stopped sending them.

I knew I shouldn't be here but I have no where else to go, or so I keep telling myself. I know that there is no where else I want to go.

In a pure moment of impulse when in fact I should have left right then, I stepped out of the car and into the heavy down pour, I didn't bother pulling on a coat to protect myself, I already looked a mess. It feels good to feel the rain hammer against my bare skin; it tells me that I can feel something, to know I'm not dead inside like I feel every second of my life. My body began to quiver beneath my soaked t-shirt but I didn't care. I trudged along the drive, the rain streaming down my face, hair matted against my face.

I rang the doorbell once and from that point there was no turning back. My heart fell to my stomach and my mouth became dry as my throat closed up with nerves. The door swung open immersing me with the laughter that was coming within. I met his eyes hoping to see happiness and warmth but instead I was met with shock and a bitter tone.

'What the hell do you want?'

_Back to 5 years ago…_

Harry's lips were the only thing on my mind right now, I didn't even hear what I was being told, it was white noise in the back of my mind. I couldn't deny that I wanted him to kiss me and I felt annoyed when Sam harshly called me away but it was for the best and everything happens for a reason right? I'm even more annoyed at myself for wanting him to kiss me. We aren't compatible and never will be. I could already feel myself letting him get a bit too close.

'Jen! What was that about?' Harry asked as soon as I left Sam's office, leaning against the wall as if he owned the place. His voice gliding over my shortened name made my stomach flip.

'Nothing' I said, bluntly, starting up the stairs.

"What are we doing now?" He asked following behind me.

"Well I'm going to my room"

"I'll join you"

"No!" I retaliated, spinning around so he was staring at me, confusion drenching his face.

"Why are you being so cold all of a sudden?" He frowned, crossing his arms. I could tell he was getting tired of me running hot and cold all the time. "You were fine just a moment ago when we were messing around"

"Just forget about all of that" I replied, turning away from him to carry on up the stairs.

"Wait"

I spun around, my eye brows risen, a look of displeasure upon my face.

"What?" I hissed.

"I had fun so don't tell me what to do. Just when I think we can be friends, you act like I'm a stranger, completely disregarding the moment in the bathroom and then expect me to act like I know nothing. That's not fair" His tone was annoyed mirroring the look on his face.

"That didn't mean anything Harry" I sighed.

"So that's it, you're not even going to talk about it or acknowledge that something happened?"

"No because nothing happened" I emphasised, bracing myself for his next outburst.

"Okay, if that's what you want then fine"

"Okay?" Shock dripping from my mouth. "You're willing to just forget the whole bathroom incident?"

"What bathroom incident?" and I couldn't help but smile in response.

x-x-x

Sadly it was coming towards the end of work experience. I had enjoyed my placement and although no further job had come of it I was confident that this alone would be commendable enough.

Harry and I started to hang out a lot more, as much as I knew that I shouldn't get involved with him I just couldn't help myself. When I was around him, I felt alive and warm. It was like nothing I'd experienced before and the imposing thoughts that he might tell people about my accommodation didn't seem to surface as often as they had before.

I felt my walls slowly falling down which was something that was hard for me to grasp, I didn't want them to, I didn't want to be exposed but at the same time I wanted him to see me for me and not the bitch that he sees a lot of the time.

"Where are we going Harry?" I laughed as we stumbled through the overgrown fields, parting through the shrubbery growing along the path.

"I want to show you something, we're nearly there" He called from in front as I dodged nettles and thorns. The heat radiating from the sun splashed against my bare arms, my sunglasses tinting the light slightly, I looked above at the differentiating shades of green around me.

Harry pulled another overgrown bush to the side ahead of me.

"After you m'lady" His idea of a posh voice being rather comical.

"Why thank-you kind sir" My mimic of a posh voice sounding a lot more realistic than Harrys. I stepped through into a wide open clearing, my mouth open in awe.

"Beautiful right?" Harry appeared next to me as my eyes scanned the outstretched scene before me.

It was like a scene from a fairytale. The blue of the lake shimmering under the rays of sunlight, birds chirping away, flowers of all kinds of shade bursting with colour, the grass soft beneath my feet. I was baffled how such beauty could exist in a world of such cruelty.

Beside me Harry started to roll up his jeans and remove his socks and shoes before sitting down at the edge of the bank letting the water envelope his feet, swishing them back and forth as he waited for me to escape from my daze.

I took a seat next to him too, removing my pumps and rolling up my own jeans. The cold water felt astounding as it lapped around in circles following the patterns of my feet.

"I come here often when everyone on the outside world is too much and I just need to get away for awhile" He smiled turning his head to face me, even through his own sunglasses I was able to see the warmth emitting from his eyes, the content feeling of just being here made everything else seem like a faint memory. "I haven't shown anyone before but I thought you could make some use of it too" I nodded; I didn't really know what to say but I was immensely grateful and he knew I was. I wish I'd known about this place a while ago, I would have loved to have come here, to leave everything behind for a few hours.

"I won't tell anyone you know?" I frowned at his change of topic, confused. "I won't tell anyone where you live" He clarified, brushing the tips of his fingers along my hand, making my stomach react. "I know you're worried that I will and it's been bothering me that you think I will but I promise I wont. You can trust me"

"Thank-you" I smiled, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and leaning into him for a brief second, resting my head against his shoulder before pulling away but leaving my hand next to his on the bank.

"Tell me something no one else knows about you?" He asked. My hair flew into my face in the breeze and I pushed the stray strands behind my ear. It was starting to become easier telling Harry little aspects of my life and I enjoyed learning about his, his existence was enticing. Although I still hesitated for a moment before spilling a tiny bit of myself out into the open.

"I've always dreamed of living in that house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and rose bushes along the front lawn, a dog that would wag it's tail in delight every time I came home, a front porch to sit on and drink home made lemonade as I watch the neighbours go about their everyday business" I smiled as I stared out ahead of me, watching the sway of the bushes and trees on the other side of the lake, dreaming of something so far fetched. "And most of all I want someone to love me" I whispered.

Harrys hand found mine once more as he squeezed reassuringly.

"I have no doubt in my mind that there isn't someone out there who will love everything about you, even your imperfections and if not then I'll love you and we'll get married and have a dozen kids" He laughed. I laughed along too. I wasn't sure why I told him that and I didn't really think before I said it; however it felt good to rid some of the pent up emotion.

"Make that two dozen and we have a deal?"

"We're gonna need a bigger house then"

"You'll have to provide for us Harry so I expect you to have a well paid career like a singer"

"Deal. And our kids will be the most well dressed kids in town having a fashion designer as a mum"

Light conversation didn't cease for the next hour as jokes flew around and laughter flooded the air.

"You never got to tell me something no one knows about you?" I asked as a comfortable silence fell upon us. I started ripping out blades of grass from the ground and pulling them apart in my hands.

"Well doesn't this count?" He nodded ahead of him gesturing towards his secret hideaway.

"Nope" I laughed as he sighed.

"Okay, um" He thought for a moment as I waited.

"I care what people think of me, I care too much. I don't want everyone to have this bad impression of me just because I have a large circle of friends. I tell myself I don't care and give off this attitude that what people say about me doesn't hurt. Half the people don't even know me and have already formed this opinion on me and all I think is 'what have I done to you for you to hate me?' That's why I got so defensive when we had that argument last week because I'm not who everyone thinks I am. Yes I do bad things sometimes but I'd never intentionally hurt someone. I've always told myself I want to be one of those people who doesn't care what everyone else thinks and I so badly wish I was one of those people but I guess I'm not"

Guilt all of a sudden racked my body as his unexpected confession sunk in. He carried on staring out into the distance but I could tell he was waiting for my response.

"Never be afraid to be who you are Harry, you're an example of everything good about this world and I wish more people had the chance to see it but one day you'll prove them wrong, I'm counting on it" This time it was my turn to squeeze his hand and he squeezed it right back.

x-x-x

As we walked along the main road home, the sun slowly slipped behind the clouds leaving a soft glow. Harry rambled on about his favourite album and although I appeared to be listening I was otherwise else where. I had enjoyed Harrys company so much more recently and I knew that I had enjoyed it more than I should have but this deep feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that once we went back to school Monday, our brief friendship would come to an end and this saddened me greater than leaving the familiar confines of the Elle offices.

We reached the top of my road and I couldn't hold off any longer.

"What's going to happen with us now?" I blurted out, my eyes refusing to meet his. Harry stopped and frowned, his short curls blowing in the light breeze, his beautiful green-blue orbs squinting.

"What do you mean?" He raised his voice slightly to be heard over the sound of the busy road and the rustling of the leaves in the trees.

"Well is this goodbye? What happens when we go back to school on Monday?" His expression changed as he caught on to what I meant.

"Well on Monday I'm going to walk past your house back to school and carry on as normal" My heart sunk and I felt overwhelmed with disappointment and I'm sure, much to my dismay, that my face portrayed this too until Curly burst into laughter.

"Just kidding silly, I'll meet you just here Monday morning bright and early, 8:20 on the dot because I think I'd feel quite lost if I didn't see you in the morning, like I have done for the past week and then we'll make the tiresome trek to school together and after you can come over to mine and I'll cook you my famous cheese on toast and then I'll walk you home like a true gentlemen" He finished his tirade by pulling me in a one armed hug as we carried on walking along the road, my cheeks flushing scarlet with embarrassment but my insides were happily doing somersaults.

"It might be 8:30 though" I warned. "I'm always late and I really hate Monday mornings" I giggled as he shook his head smiling, his arm slung lightly around my shoulder making it a perfect end to the perfect day.


End file.
